A LETTER TO AN ABSCONDING LOVER

(Candice Tully

Harvest International School, Ludhiana)

 It’s been one week you’re out of my sight. One day without you feels like a decade, this has been like an era. Where have you been?

I still remember the last moment I spent with you. You pulled me close to your chest, I could hear your heart beating. I don’t know why, but it gave me an ominous feeling and I put my hands around your muscular body. An eccentric feeling engulfed me. I wanted time to halt right there and spent my entire life with you.

Your scintillating eyes under the moonlight were so irresistible. Under the lights that night , you held me tight and you stole my heart again. I saw your face and I fell in love again. There was no other place beautiful than that. Your arms were the safest place for me in this entire world.

But today my world is perilous. Trouble seems lurking in every corner. I never thought in my entire life I would fall for a Casanova like you but I did. You came like an angel and disappeared like passing wind. Everyday I look in the mirror I see your face and my heart stops beating when I think of you smile.
This had to be the worst nightmare, but destiny failed me again. The guy who was an imperative part of my life is today apart form my life. I could see my entire world in your brown dreamy eyes. The chill that ran down my spine every time you touched me is missing. When I realized you aren’t around , my smile fades away and tears come out without my permission.

Every second my heart wonders where on earth you could be? I was done hunting and inquiring about you from every place. To my misfortune, no one has a clue about you. You filled my life with laughter, joy, happiness but now everything seems so surreal.

Sometimes I wished I didn’t meet you at the first place. I would have still been that girl who only believed in lust. But you introduced me to this crazy little thing called love. And today you left me with false hopes.

My heart stopped beating as I saw your sparkling eyes for the first time. I tired avoiding that eye contact but my heart didn’t allow me. Since our first meet, our first talk, our first dance all at the same night ,nothing has been nor will it be more essential than you.

Every time you pulled me by my waist just using one hand , shivers ran down my skin. You were the only reason for my smile. No matter how bad the situation was or how many times we argued in a day, you had that charisma that always made me smile. But these days tears have started to block my vision.

You have something rare that attracts me, something that makes me fall for you even more whenever we meet. Even if you become a mobster I will still want you. I don’t know whether this is live or you are my habit, All I know is I need you and I can’t do without you. Even if we dont talk just seeing you satisfies me. And I freak out if I don’t get to see you for a day.

This time, its a week, my heart trembles, my body shakes when I try to figure out your whereabouts. After you left me my life is as good as hell, a few guys keep asking me out but I m here waiting for for  you for days, months, or years. You have stolen my heart and now its difficult for me to survive.
There is no one whom I can admire, whom I can adore, whom I can glimpse at after every few minutes, whom I can annoy, whom I can talk yo about anything and everything, whom I can hug when I m depressed, whom I can hold while walking, whom I can love endlessly.

There is no one who cares for me, who shouts at me for small little things, who is extra possessive and protective, who annoys me with silly little things, who blackmails me to get things done. Who loves me and won’t stop showing that.

Each day I hallucinate for you, my heart pounding as to why you under-grounded yourself. The fact that you left me stranded in this lonely world gets into my nerves. Everything you did with me was just plain perfect acting.

Your actions clearly show that all the things you said were never true. Hundred of fake promises, thousands of lies make me feel you’re the wrong one I anointed with my heart. No one in this world deserves so much pain.
Deep inside my heart I feel one day you’ll wake up and find that you’re missing me. And I’ll still be waiting for you until my heart stops beating. How can I move on when I m still in love with you?